"They Just Don't Get It" - And Why That's Almost Never the Real Problem

It’s one of the most common sentences we hear in our coaching work with leaders — and one of the most expensive. It almost always arrives in the same moment. Someone has an idea that reaches further than the current quarter: a different product model, a rethink of how teams work together, a strategic bet that only pays off in years. And that same person watches the idea fail to land one level up. What follows is a single sentence: “They just don’t get it.”

The reflex that comes next is understandable. If a good idea doesn’t land, you must need to explain it better — one more slide, one more argument, one more run at it. In the vast majority of cases, that is the wrong move. Not because the idea is weak, but because the problem sits somewhere entirely different from where it feels like it sits. And as long as you don’t know where that is, every additional attempt tends to make things worse rather than better.

Because “they just don’t get it” carries a quiet assumption that is almost always wrong — and behind it, a second, more uncomfortable truth: in the end, the sentence says less about the level above you than about the person saying it. Leaders who grasp that stop winning the argument and losing the person.

In this article we show why this is almost never a comprehension problem but something else entirely — and what the leadership research of David Rooke and William Torbert reveals about why the same idea, delivered in the wrong currency, becomes indistinguishable from “wrong.” We look at the trap that quietly sabotages your own influence, what this pattern actually costs an organization — especially in a world where AI makes execution cheap and judgment becomes the real bottleneck — and the concrete moves that turn “they just don’t get it” back into a conversation.

Almost every second leader who comes to us for coaching brings some version of the same sentence: “They don’t get it.”

What they mean is usually an idea that reaches further than the current quarter — a different product model, a rethink of collaboration, a strategic bet that only pays off in years. The person saying it thinks in systems and long horizons. And they experience that exactly this fails to land in their organization.

The reflex is understandable: if a good idea doesn’t land, you must need to explain it better. One more slide, one more argument, one more run at it. In the vast majority of cases, that is the wrong move. Not because the idea is weak — but because the problem lies somewhere other than where it feels like it lies.

If that sentence sounds familiar — from others, or from yourself — it’s worth reading on. Register for free to read the full article.

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